


Discourse Upon Subjective Eternity

by channilingus



Series: Less than 1000 Words - Drabble [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Drabble, Fountain of Youth, Less than 1000 words, prompt, ranting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 10:43:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13122081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/channilingus/pseuds/channilingus
Summary: Tumblr prompt: Most people spend their entire lives waiting in line for the fountain of youth. If you drink from the fountain without first waiting in line, you’re sent to jail until you reach the age you were before drinking. This is your 6th time going to jail.





	Discourse Upon Subjective Eternity

**Author's Note:**

> Something I wrote a while ago to grease the mind gears.

“Most people spend their entire lives waiting in line for the fountain of youth, so it shouldn't be surprising that the life expectancy of our people has dropped dramatically. Most common death is due to starvation, but that is closely followed by dehydration, infection, and mass suicide. _Look_ , the data might be a little skewed but I'm not lying here. Imagine a massive cult hell bent on eternity together. It's a long story. I'll tell you later.

“Do you know what a life sentence in prison is now a day? Most people don't since the first thing they do is leave this forsaken rock once they get their 3 ounces of eternal youth juice. What's the point of sticking around! It's always a bit too hot, there is that blinding glow all the plants and wildlife reflect from drinking the water burning your retina, and this planet hasn't had a breeze since the last meteorite struck it 40,000 years ago. There are over 1,200 inhabitable colonies located in the Milky Way alone, why stick around here after you get what you want! But you know this, you look like a smart man.

“Yeah. I might have a "life sentence", but that's only 150 years, here. No one _actually serves_ that long and you think they can afford to feed you for that long? House you? Dress you? I ain't lying, ask any Lifer. I don't lie. I'm 772 this year, do you know how many life sentences that is? Five! All the guards change, but I keep coming back. I know how it works around here.

“I mean, who knows exactly how long eternity is? I don't want to risk it, if life is still going on you bet your ass I'm riding it out! There is too much to learn, see, do, eat, and fuck! It's only been around 700 years since they found this planet! Man I remember the rush to get here like yesterday, so invigorating! It was cutthroat, we were all a bunch of savages. Then the Universal Coalition took over governing this rock and that stupid line was formed.

Man fuck that line! That line wasn't there when I took my first drink! And you believe it when I tell you I drank much more than 3 measly ounces that first time. We drank so much we vomited! And then we drank that too. You can't risk it. You can't risk that at all.

You don't look this good at 771 and take risks when it comes to eternity. Believe it."

Naruto sat back with his smug grin, confident in his statement. His new cellmate was a baby, an infant, compared to himself. He didn't know nothing, but Naruto made sure he was going to learn today! 


End file.
